My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.

I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.

I should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane.

There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."