My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.

My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers.

I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'

When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.

I've never tried fatback. Probably 'cause it's called fatback. I don't know which word creeps me out more: fat or back. Why don't they just throw in "hairy" while they're at it? "This is some delicious hairy fatback."

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.