Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!

For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.

Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.

When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.

I was able to make the jump to theaters without having a TV show. My passion for getting a TV show just plummeted. It was like I had already achieved what I wanted to achieve.

It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'

There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.