Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini.

God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.

You have the sex appeal of Norman Fell.

People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.

And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified genital warts. And while they're all running out and crying, I hope one of them slips and accidentally molests a child.

Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini.

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.