I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.

I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.

I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.

That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.

I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.