People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.

I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.

What a shock that a guy who makes $2 million a week behaves exactly like I would with $2 million a week. As far as I’m concerned, if you make $2 million a week and you don’t have a hooker in your hotel room, you’re creepy and I don’t trust you. And I don’t do drugs at all, so for me it would just be more prostitutes. That’s how they would find me. I would be dead on the floor, flattened by a pile of prostitutes. I’d look like a cat in a hoarders’ house.

I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.