So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by.

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.

Despite all the advancements in science, and all things about religion that are disproved it still marches on. The bottom line is that the only real, absolutely provable answers about life and our place in the universe are provided by science, and religion has been holding down science since day one.

Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.

Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.