To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

I think stand is better now than it's ever been. I think it's the greatest time ever to do standup comedy.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

Houston Alexander is for real!

I don't know much about the music business, but for just general advice for someone trying to create things, as simple as this sounds, I think the best thing you can do is constantly try to improve upon your work. Always focus on that first and foremost, and leave everything else (marketing, image) completely secondary. Obviously, easier said than done when you're trying to make a living, but if you can move along those lines and earnestly try to make things that you really enjoy it can only benefit you in the long run.

Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.