To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

Haters...are all failures. It's 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

I definitely had one guy come up to me and ask if I knew where to get DMT. He had a crewcut and he didn't look like he'd ever done a drug in his life. He didn't seem curious he seemed like he wanted to get me to do something. Like "You're the laziest narc ever dude. This is ridiculous. What, do you think I bring drugs around with me? Are you retarded? Why don't you go find gangsters?"

I think comedy because of the Internet it has a bigger audience, a bigger fan base. It has fans that understand comedy more than any generation before because there is more guys like you, more guys like me, more guys like Louie CK who talks about it a lot. When you get a chance to see perspective that I don't think you ever got to see before.

I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.

I've been involved in mixed martial arts since 1997 when I first started working for the UFC.