Reality really is theater. There's no other way to describe it. It's all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

It's been one of the most important tools for me in personal growth for understanding myself, how I am, and what effect I do have on other people.

Sometimes faggot is the right word. There's a trend in this country to avoid words: "We can't say that one anymore it's offensive."

I definitely had one guy come up to me and ask if I knew where to get DMT. He had a crewcut and he didn't look like he'd ever done a drug in his life. He didn't seem curious he seemed like he wanted to get me to do something. Like "You're the laziest narc ever dude. This is ridiculous. What, do you think I bring drugs around with me? Are you retarded? Why don't you go find gangsters?"

If you're dumb enough to do crack, you're supposed to die. It's evolution.

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.