Like bees creating a beehive or ants creating an anthill we're all moving along creating something and we're not sure what it is.

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.

Our entire civilization is built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.

I'm really happy that I've been able to make people laugh and distract them from their day to day bullshit at a comedy show or because they enjoyed one of my CDs or TV specials, but I don't know how many people have actually had life changing thoughts because of it.

People for the most part can smell lies.