The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I've ever used for developing my mind

Comedy shows in D.C. are so much fun. I think because of the intense area that is connected to politics that people need, they need their down time. D.C. audiences are almost universally praised by comedians.

If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.

I thought eventually I'd have a family and I really didn't want to be a loser like that guy in his 40s still shopping his band's shitty demo tapes around.

If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.

People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.