My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

On my left knee I have a long scar from an ACL operation. I've had both knees reconstructed.

Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality.

["Faggot"] is a great word! The whole thing about language is, it's supposed to be broadcasting your intentions. These are my intentions and these words broadcast my feelings. If all of a sudden you have forbidden words that doesn't make the intent any better. It's just appeasing sensitive people.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that I would somehow become a sports commentator.

I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.