When you're standing around for an hour doing stand up it's no big deal but when you're standing around watching a show for an hour - it's a big difference. It's annoying - your feet hurt, your back hurts - it's just not the most comfortable way to see stand-up comedy.

This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.

Reality really is theater. There's no other way to describe it. It's all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.

Every single religion that has ever been on the face of the Earth, ever, is a cult. That’s all they are.

Be the hero of your own story.

Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.

Selling your life to sit in a box and work for a machine. An uncaring machine that demands productivity that doesn't understand you and doesn't want to understand you... There's no natural behaviour. Everyone is wearing clothes they don't want to wear. Everybody is showing up and doing something they don't want to do. They have no connection to it. That's the problem with our society.