I thought eventually I'd have a family and I really didn't want to be a loser like that guy in his 40s still shopping his band's shitty demo tapes around.

This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

What people like are things to laugh at. Funny shows. It's all in the execution, the writing and the characters, not the setting. And the writing and the execution and the characters are GREAT on (Everybody Loves Raymond).

I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.