If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.

I brought something back from those experiences [with drugs] which made me softer, open to other ideas. And I've learned from listening to other people talk about their experiences, from listening to Bill Hicks or reading Terrence McKenna or Aldous Huxley and Timothy Leary. But there's always some dumb cop out there who says "We don't need another legal drug and there's psychological addiction and blah blah blah."

Every single religion that has ever been on the face of the Earth, ever, is a cult. That’s all they are.

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.

There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.

I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.

People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.