You do what you're supposed to do, but you have to be honest about what they're doing. When you do a comedy show on a network the problem is there are going to be a bunch of people who aren't comedians that are going to tell you what's funny.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.

When you snatch little pieces of other people's lives and try to palm them off as your own, that's more disgusting than anything. Robin Williams is a huge thief. Denis Leary is a huge thief. His whole stand-up career is based on Bill Hicks, a brilliant guy who died years ago.

Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.

The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.

Like bees creating a beehive or ants creating an anthill we're all moving along creating something and we're not sure what it is.