If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk.

I love coming to D.C. I think it's a very unusual city. It's so fascinating that it's this weird place that everything thinks of as the capital of the country, there is so much international business, political stuff that is connected to that part of the country that it has a very charred atmosphere.

You could smell my ass from mars.

I think comedy because of the Internet it has a bigger audience, a bigger fan base. It has fans that understand comedy more than any generation before because there is more guys like you, more guys like me, more guys like Louie CK who talks about it a lot. When you get a chance to see perspective that I don't think you ever got to see before.

Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.

When I first went onstage I even had a suit jacket on with the sleeves rolled up because that's what I saw on TV or at the Improv that everybody did.