Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.

I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.

I'll go to church with anyone who's willing to smoke pot and look through a telescope with me.

Live your life like you're the hero in your movie and right now.

Well you see, Brazilian JiuJitsu Blackbelts have a blackbelt in...... Brazilian JiuJitsu