If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

I always do that at the end of shows, like a Q&A session. First of all it lets people know that this isn't some preprogrammed, press-play show where I have to say the exact same words in the exact same order. That's part of the thing with live comedy is that people like the fun aspect of it and I enjoy the taking questions part.

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.

I think stand is better now than it's ever been. I think it's the greatest time ever to do standup comedy.

I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.

But it's hard for a chick to do comedy. It's not as open for them.

People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.