I definitely had one guy come up to me and ask if I knew where to get DMT. He had a crewcut and he didn't look like he'd ever done a drug in his life. He didn't seem curious he seemed like he wanted to get me to do something. Like "You're the laziest narc ever dude. This is ridiculous. What, do you think I bring drugs around with me? Are you retarded? Why don't you go find gangsters?"

There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.

After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.

If you haven't peed the bed, you haven't taken enough chances.

A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense.

Omigawa is moving forward like a karate robot