I definitely had one guy come up to me and ask if I knew where to get DMT. He had a crewcut and he didn't look like he'd ever done a drug in his life. He didn't seem curious he seemed like he wanted to get me to do something. Like "You're the laziest narc ever dude. This is ridiculous. What, do you think I bring drugs around with me? Are you retarded? Why don't you go find gangsters?"

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.

I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.

Comedy shows in D.C. are so much fun. I think because of the intense area that is connected to politics that people need, they need their down time. D.C. audiences are almost universally praised by comedians.

Like bees creating a beehive or ants creating an anthill we're all moving along creating something and we're not sure what it is.

Although not considered a martial art, boxing is really a martial art. It's a very limited martial art as long as you agree to just box... but in an actual physical fight against someone who's just a wrestler, you're going to get killed.