We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.

I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.

I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.

I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.