Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

Dying is the last thing I will ever do.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.