You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried; you float.
If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.