Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass, and some cracked ice.

Mr. [John] Barrymore's smile was the smile of an actor who hates actors, and who knows that he is going to kill two or three before the play is over. I am not an actor-killer, but I like my Hamlets to dislike actors, if you know what I mean, and I think you don't.

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.