Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Mr. [John] Barrymore's smile was the smile of an actor who hates actors, and who knows that he is going to kill two or three before the play is over. I am not an actor-killer, but I like my Hamlets to dislike actors, if you know what I mean, and I think you don't.