My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.