I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.