America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried; you float.

Dying is the last thing I will ever do.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.