I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

I don't watch my movies. I just get too critical of myself.