As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.

Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum

I think I may have become an actor to hide from myself. You can escape into a character.

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.