If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.

I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you'd never get on your own. It's like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn't have children without a partner; it was a way of mixing up the genes so you'd get a more interesting product.

Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries.

When people quote sketches to me, half the time I don't know what they're talking about so I have to sort of go, aha, yes, oh yep, I remember that and lie my way out of it.

I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the wide range of references.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.