This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?

My slogan is who needs fitness when you've got great equipment.

I don't care what anybody says. The first tournament is not the hardest one to win. It's always the second one.

Stories match the way our species thinks. Equally important, stories are something we share - everyone everywhere tells stories and oddly enough, in the same way. It all probably started around some campfire a million years ago.

Whether I'm shooting 10-under or 10-over I have to realize people have come a long way to see me play. I can't be back-handing putts.

There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.

Seems I used to do everything like I was on a mission. If it was alcohol, I wanted to drink till I couldn't see straight. If it was golf, I wanted to beat everybody's brains out. If it was driving, I can get there faster'n you can. It's not anybody's fault, I guess. I was stubborn as hell. I had no direction.