Everyone wants to be called an outsider so I'm a proud insider. If I was young I'd be in my parents' house shutting down the government on my computer. The new delinquent is the hacker.

Yeah, I know I should be fighting for gay rights, but who wants to join the army or get married anyway?

What's fascinating to me is that in rich-kid schools, it's better to be gay. No one is discriminated against because they're gay in a rich-kid school. But in poor-kid schools, it's often not the same. So being gay is a class issue now.

No comedy should be longer than 90 minutes. There's no such thing as a good long joke.

[My catholic education] sticked with me. It caused the rage I had to make 'Pink Flamingos.'

God knows if you could start a new sex act that's more important than making a good movie.

I think it's all independent films. There aren't any! If they were looking for me when I was making Polyester, then it'd be perfect, but they're not. I'm not looking for that. TV is much bigger and better now; far more people see it.