Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
When turkeys mate they think of swans.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
I play my life straight - the way I see it. I'm grateful to audiences for watching me and for enjoying what I do - but I'm not one of those who believe that a successful entertainer is made by the public, as is so often said.