If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!