Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.

We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.