Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.

I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.