Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline.

Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can't eat but one steak at a time. I don't want but one woman. It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.