Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!

A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.

I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.

That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.

Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.

I don't run with anybody's herd. I don't like crowds. I don't like going to fancy places. I don't like the whole nightclub scene. Cocktail parties drive me mad. So I do my job and I stay away from the rest of it.

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.