In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.

People are brought up to think, "It's nice to be modest. It's nice to hide your light under a bushel." Well, bullshit! I've never bought that. In my business, the only thing you've really got is your talent; it's the only thing you have to sell.

I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.