Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

I can't go anywhere without being bugged by somebody. I'd love to just hike out down the street, or drop in a restaurant, or wander in the park, or take my kids somewhere without collecting a trail of people. But I can't.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear all they want from people with reason to be respected as knowledgeable.