Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.

Having money gives me the freedom to worry about the things that really matter.

We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.