Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Talking about sexual morality, I wouldn't agree that it's declining, but it's certainly changing. Young and old, we are very much in the process of taking a fresh look at the whole issue of morality. The only decline that's taking place - and it's about time - is in the old puritanical concept that sex is equated with sin.

The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

There's a lot of hypocrisy in audiences. I'd never dream of telling even on a nightclub stage, let alone my show, some of the jokes that are told in a lot of the living rooms from which we get those letters!

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.

George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.