I can't say I ever wanted to become an entertainer. I already was one, sort of-around the house, at school, doing my magic tricks, throwing my voice and doing Popeye impersonations. People thought I was funny; so I kind of took entertaining for granted It was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Only lie about the future.

I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.