My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

There was this billy goat at a movie studio who found and ate a can of film. When a nanny asked him how he liked it, he said, "It was all right but I liked the book better."

As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.

May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!

I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.