My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.

Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear all they want from people with reason to be respected as knowledgeable.

Democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head - this signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle.

A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.