The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.

I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and the fact that I make money at it - big money - is a fine-and-dandy side fact.

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.

I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.