For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

As for being sociable, I hate the phoniness in the showbiz world. I know this will be taken wrong, but I don't like clubs and organizations. I was never a joiner.

I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.