Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

I can't go anywhere without being bugged by somebody. I'd love to just hike out down the street, or drop in a restaurant, or wander in the park, or take my kids somewhere without collecting a trail of people. But I can't.