I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.

The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

Find me any performer anywhere who isn't egocentric. You'd better believe you're good, or you've got no business being out there.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself".

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.