I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.

There's a lot of hypocrisy in audiences. I'd never dream of telling even on a nightclub stage, let alone my show, some of the jokes that are told in a lot of the living rooms from which we get those letters!

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.

Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear all they want from people with reason to be respected as knowledgeable.

I couldn't care less what anybody says about me. I live my life, especially my personal life, strictly for myself... Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized. I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you.