That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.

Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.

When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.

What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.