Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.

Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.

I couldn't care less what anybody says about me. I live my life, especially my personal life, strictly for myself... Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized. I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you.