They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear.
Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.
Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.