People are brought up to think, "It's nice to be modest. It's nice to hide your light under a bushel." Well, bullshit! I've never bought that. In my business, the only thing you've really got is your talent; it's the only thing you have to sell.

George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?

I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can't eat but one steak at a time. I don't want but one woman. It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth.

Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself".